Angels In My Rearview

I am a 30 year old MOM of 2, WIFE of 1. My chilluns are almost 3 and 1. I live in Texas as of the beginning of 2006. I have a wonderful and nearly-perfect husband who such praise is lost on because he is much less swayed by any acclaim, or already knows it. I am mostly fulfilled by my job, sometimes overwhelmed, and frequently searching for deeper meaning under piles of laundry. I believe in documenting the things that leave impressions and that make you laugh. Thus, I blog.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Things That Made Me Laugh Out Loud Today

One of the loneliest feelings in the world to me is laughing alone. I don't feel loneliness very much, if ever. I was raised the 8th of 9 children and now a stay-at-home with an incessant talker and an almost-incessant screecher. I cherish alone time. However, laughing alone feels very lonely. That's why I don't like watching funny movies alone. But I did the other day and while I squirmed around guffawing heartily (I am a full-body laugher) at a movie (Prime, by the way) I wished so desperately that my husband was there to laugh with me. Or at me, I don't care---just need the mutual laughter.

But I've gotten used to laughing kind of alone, a lot. These are the things I laughed at today.

Ben announced, "I don't want to go to dance with MuhCindy (Here in Texas everyone is "Miss So-and-So, cuz we're in the south and they do things proper-like here, but Ben is pretty much a Yankee and doesn't know what people are doing adding "Miss" to a name, so he thinks Miss Cindy's name is MaCindy) today, I just want to stay here and not wear pants and watch Caillou and Cookie Monster." Okay, first of all, going pantless---brilliant. It took me 25 years to discover the joys of that. Ha! And second of all, is it normal for a 2 year old to choose to be a slobby couch potato, or is that learned behavior? And third of all, I LOVE LOVE LOVE alliteration, and he came upon it naturally and accidentally. It was beautiful. And I laughed out loud.

Next: Avery shakes her head "no", for "yes". By the way, completely off topic, but, I've wondered often---if you say "shakes head" doesn't that automatically imply "no" and "nodding head" automatically implies "yes". Right? Nod? I don't know if that's a rule I came up with on my own in my younger years of reading, or if it's a known fact. There are some writers out there who shake things up and get me all confused with their own interpretations of shaking and nodding. Anyone?

So, with Avery's mixed up head signals, it provides some very entertaining conversation. Ben pushed Avery and Avery yelled. I sat down on the floor with her and said, "Did Ben hurt you?" She shook her head. Ben laughed. "Yes I did," he corrects her. I said, "Does that make you want to hurt Ben?" kind of just making up questions that her shaking would be funny to. She shakes her head again and then reaches out and does a rapid fire of swats on Ben's head. I'm not promoting sibling abuse here, I really didn't think she'd take it as a suggestion. Ben squawked and I said I was sorry, I didn't want her hitting him and Ben said, "You're sorry mom betuz I taught her to hit and I'm sorry." That scenario alone got two hearty guffaws out of me.

Driving home from "Curious George" at the dollar theater, in which Ben remained curious for only half the length of the movie, I wondered if Ben knew my first name. I know he knows Jay's because, well, because that's all he calls him. So I started with, "Ben, what's Daddy's name?" He immediately responds, "Pookie---ah hahahahahahaha!"
Boy did I laugh.

Tonight as I was finishing clearing off Avery's tray (don't get excited, my house only stayed clean for 31 hours after that stupid blog.) both kids were hovering nearby. I set the tray down and said aloud, "Okey dokey, let's get this train a-moving" to which Avery responded with a mad scramble to get away from me. When her escape was thwarted by "slippery" tile, too long pants, and undeveloped equilibrium, she simply tucked her arms under her body and surrendered like a sunbathing seal. I told you I like alliteration. I have no idea why she got the idea to run, or why she actually thought she could, but it REALLY made me laugh, that and her defeat stance.

Then, as I was changing Avery's diaper I told Ben to pick out his books to read before bedtime. Usually we do anywhere from 2-5, and he's aware of that. I had my back to him and glanced back once to see a small stack of about 5 books. On top of the stack, his latest selection, was the user's manual to his booster seat, we purchased about a month ago. That TOTALLY made me laugh. Then I turned my back to him and finished with Avery and took her back to her bed. When I returned, about 2 minutes after having seen the manual, this is what I return to:

While I was laughing, I took a picture. Note, empty top shelf.

Okay, these are all Ben and Avery stories, but that's because I had NO OTHER face to face contact with anyone, unless you count the nice Indian man at Wal-mart who not only bagged my groceries, but also loaded them into my cart. But there were two other things that made me laugh today.

This in an email from my mom in response to my blog: "You won't have much to confess at the judgement gate." If I didn't know any better I would think that was a backhanded compliment. But that's not how my mom is, so while I'm certain it wasn't backhanded, I'm not certain on what it means. But it certainly made me laugh.

And this: http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyid=2006-04-20T155023Z_01_N4K350677_RTRUKOC_0_US-BREASTS.xml

As I post this link, I feel a little guilty because I can hear my mom saying, "Angela, it's not nice to make fun at other's expense" or any number of things that are true, but honestly, I CANNOT HELP MYSELF. Go read it, go ahead, I'll wait. I couldn't believe it and it's SO funny and if you just imagine yourself answering the door to this solicitation. What would you do? I would fall on my butt and literally laugh it off.

4 Comments:

  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger Code Yellow Mom said…

    Thanks for the load of laughs. I am not sure who is most to be laughed at - the "doctor" or the women who let him in! Some people just ask to be laughed at.

    Along the alliteration line: Have you listened to "They Might Be Giants: Here Come the ABCs?" I HIGHLY recommend it, especially for the alliteration (penguins parading as peguins), for the fun and random lyrics, for its ability to teach children about letters of the alphabet AND conifers (Calvin's favorite song), and for the fact that it's not Dora or Fisher Price Little People singing worn-out nursery tunes. The DVD makes the songs make sense, but the CD is IMPERATIVE for the car. It's grown-up music and a lot of alliteration for precocious preschoolers and their parents.

     
  • At 2:12 PM, Blogger Code Yellow Mom said…

    I just remembered David telling me about this some time ago...I'm not sure if it's laughable or not, but it's right up there with your doctor story...
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtmlxml=/news/2002/06/28/wbare28.xml&sSheet=/news/2002/06/28/ixworld.html

     
  • At 9:02 AM, Blogger ShelahBooksIt said…

    having kids is totally hilarious, and I'm so glad because otherwise, I think it would be depressing a lot of the time. You just have to find the humor in it. Have you ever considered that Avery might have some recessive eastern European gene? Apparently somewhere in Eastern Europe (Albania, maybe?) people shake their heads yes and nod no. Isaac (my 18mo) says "no" whether he means yes or no and I have to use other clues to figure out which one he really means.

     
  • At 8:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are by far the funniest person! I read these at work and the people here think i am slightly off balance as I cant help but laugh my head off reading your accounts.

     

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