Of COOOOUUUUUUUURSE

Monday morning we went to the park. After about an hour, Ben had to go to the bathroom. I stood and looked as far as the eye could see and there was no visible bathroom. There was a pool that was closed that probably had a bathroom. So I walked over to a little wooded area with Ben's innocent little hand in mine. My mind is racing, debating if I should do this, because I know once this experience is in his head, there's no turning back. In the few moments a child gives you between when they say they have to go, and when they actually go, I just didn't have enough time to think of anything else. I helped him pee in the woods. He giggled uncontrollably the entire time. This was the same park visit that Avery chased down a Hungarian grandmother with a bright red dye job and insisted that she hold her. So while Avery was being tended to by her self-designated nagymama, I took the time to talk to Ben seriously about outside peeing etiquette. He was prying his hands out of mine and craning his neck to look over my shoulder at the new kids who just showed up at the sandbox with sand toys, and was saying, "otay, otay, OTAY!" while I carried on with my superb parenting/teaching methods. I finally let him go and put the whole thing out of my head. It was just a small incident, hes not going to dwell on it, and he certainly isn't going to listen to my lecture on where it's okay to pee standing in a shroud of trees, where he just did.

Today is Wednesday. I have caught him 3 times outside with his pants down. I had to interrupt the writing of this blog to go retrieve him from the neighbor's yard, watering their lawn. I'm not entirely sure how to handle this, but I'm sure we'll figure something out. In the meantime, I hope none of my friendly neighbors get too offended while Ben learns protocol and I learn parenting strategies. After 3 different times of sitting on his bed and thinking about where he should go when he needs to go potty, I heard him outside talking to an older lady walking by to go get her mail. "Howya doin? I'm dood. See ya later!" I think, how cute is that little conversationalist? What I SHOULD have been thinking was, how shameless is that little exhibitionist! He had the entire conversation while communing with Mother Nature in his most natural attire.

ADDENDUM: Ben has left me a nice little suprise on our back porch. This might be too much information but the ensuing conversation MUST be reported.
Exasperated Me:Ben, what am I going to do? Do you need a spank on the bum to stop going to the bathroom outside, it's not okay!
Reasoning, but bare-bottomed Ben: But mom, if you fank me now it will be loud (opposite of soft), so only do it if it's soft
Me: I don't want to spank you at all Ben, but I don't know what to do about this!
Ben: Well, you tan dit a paper towel and pick it up with your hands and put it in the toilet and I can flush it.
Sarcastic Me: Oh, right, that will fix everything won't it?
Delightful Ben: Yep! It sho' does!

Help!?